Dear Agents and Colleagues...

Yesterday I sent off my first batch of postal submissions to literary agents; with quaking I hands passed an indifferent man at the post office all of my hopes and dreams wrapped into A4 envelopes that looked no more important than a letter to my Gran in South Africa. Though somewhat thicker and a little lumpy on account of the big grips I'd used to secure all the pages, since they all specified "no binding or stapling".

Most of the preceding two days I spent drafting and redrafting covering letters, synopses, an autobiography and a CV - "not the likes of which you would use for a job application" as specified by one agency's website - and then going through it all again just before sending it off via email or printing it (hundreds of pages, including the sample chapters!) for the purpose mentioned above. I can truly say that I spent the last few days in a permanent state of pre-heart attack, so anxiety-inducing such a process becomes.

The fact that agents are just so particular with the specifications of their submissions process is utterly daunting, and indeed almost soul destroying. One wants a synopsis that is up to two pages long, one says it can't be more than a page, while yet another says 500 words. And that's without mentioning the fact that it all has to be double-spaced with decent margins on all sides. It becomes very difficult to condense one's masterpiece into the roughly 300 word space that a single page holds, especially as you know that this is your one chance to really grab their attention. The chances of getting an agent are ridiculously slim, but for the thousands and thousands of submissions they receive each year, usually they will only take on two or three new authors because that is all they can realistically gain publication for as well as continue working with their current clients. So they have the right to be picky. Though one could argue that "picky" doesn't quite cover it...

Even if one was to find an agent, it does not necessarily mean a publishing deal. And even if you get a publishing deal, there's no guarantee you'll make a big enough name for yourself to be more than a flash-in-the-pan. Or one of those genuinely great books sitting on the shelf, that no one knows about unless their friend recommended it to them or they happened to read a review somewhere. It was for this very reason that I loved working in a book shop so much: I got to review the books I enjoyed, that were not necessarily big-name authors, but whose work deserved so much more than just dust-collection rights.

Submitting your first book to agents is one of those moments in life that even someone who has been there before couldn't adequately explain it to someone who hasn't. There are just no words to describe the fear, the anticipation, the hope, the thrill, the utter desperation to get it just right in the hope they might actually read your submission that you've just spent the last three hours polishing to their exacting standards... It's the same as the first time you drive a car, or have a baby, or get married. People can explain it to you, describe it to you, but until you go there yourself, they cannot begin to make you understand what it's going to be like. It's one of those moments you just have to experience for yourself.

I can only sit back now, and wait for them to receive, hopefully read, and (Please Lord!) respond kindly to my submissions. In the meantime, I am designing my website and waiting for my wonderful sister-in-law; who happens to be an English teacher; to finalise the proofing of my manuscript so that I can upload said manuscript onto Amazon and hopefully make a few pounds. Once that's been done, I will (possibly, if I can stand it) take a week's break and then begin drafting book 2, which, as yet, is very cleverly named "Volume 2". Thank you, thank you, please hold your applause till the end...

Should anyone who happens upon this rambling care to take a look, you can read the first three chapters here http://www.wattpad.com/user/TLJ550 and please do be kind enough to put me as a fan if you enjoy it, and even more gratefully received would be a vote! I'm not entirely sure what all the voting is about, but it seems to make me more inclined to read others' works if they have not only many reads of their story, but many votes as well. I imagine if this is the effect on me, that possibly it might be the same for others too. Either way, if you then decide you like my wattpad page, be a darling and go and Like me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/TamarynLJohnson

I always respond to any Comments, Liking, Fanning or Voting and will be sure to publicly thank you! And maybe, just maybe, your fan/vote/liking of my pages will encourage any passing agents to reconsider sending my proposal straight to the recycling bin. You just never know.